College: helpful vs. hurtful

When you enter the 9th grade (or whenever High School starts at your school) you are told that the grades you get and the hard work you put in for the next four years until you graduate will help in getting you into a good college or university with possible scholarships and grants available for you. By the time you get to your Senior year or maybe even sooner you realize that there are numbers of different community colleges that are cheaper and contain the same options for degrees as a starter course for four year colleges. So now you start all over, all the work you did in High School payed off to get you into community college but now you have to work your butt off in college to get to another one. While this is a great idea for someone who doesn't quite know what they want to do with there life it can be overwhelming for someone who knows.

Auntie's Princess

I found out recently that my best friend, more like my sister is having a baby girl. I already knew she was pregnant but now I know she's having a baby girl. I can not wait until October :-)

Life's Unexpected Deathly Curveballs

This morning I woke up and looked on my facebook and noticed that there were a lot of people's status saying that one of my boyfriends very good friends, only 19 years old, had passed away. I immediately called my boyfriend and to my dismay I found that it was true. I felt overwhelmingly sad all at once. I didn't know him all that well, but what I did know was that he was a great guy who was really starting to go somewhere with his life. And I knew that one of our friends in particular would have been a complete mess about the situation. It got me thinking, none of us ever know when it will be our time to pass on. Even doctors couldn't tell cancer patients an exact date time and second of when they would die. I never realized how afraid I was to experience life but now more than ever I am reminded that you never know how long your life will be. So from now on I am determined to make the most of my life. To never second guess myself on the things I want, and also live my life to the fullest potential it can be. Not just for myself for the others around me, that could just vanish without me getting to apologize for a silly fight we had or ever truly find out their opinions on the important things in their life. Because no matter how much me and my friends might disagree I will always love every single one of them more than they'll ever know and I never want any of them to forget that.

This is dedicated to a great guy that I will always remember and will truly missed by all of his friends...R.I.P C.P

Officialy 20!

So I am officially 20, although I had my first catch at still calling myself 19 still. I went to the bank this morning and their was a new person there. She asked how old I was and I said 19. Hopefully by my 5th or 6th day of being 20 I'll remember to say my correct age.

My Birthday

So today is my birthday. Most people get super excited for their birthday and think it's a super big deal. But after my past couple of birthdays I'm just happy I still have true friends that really care about me and would do anything for me. Can't wait to hang at the park this weekend with them. Well I'm going to go spend my birthday money :-)

Boyfriend with a Liscense

Oh and I realized that I never updated this. I have had a boyfriend with a license for almost 4 months now and it is awesome having him drive when we go out and occasionally having him drive me to work. And his driving isn't all that bad either. I am so proud of him :-)

The Do or Don't decisions

Half of this blog entry ties into the other as far as the way I am feeling right now. It goes from "Do's" and "Don'ts" to lasting friendships.
When you're in a relationship you have the do or don't question you face every once in a while. For example, you have made plans to hang out with some of your close friends and your boyfriend is hanging out with his close friends, but some how your plans fall through.
Do you text him and make him feel guilty that you don't get to have fun with your friends even though he's having fun with his that he cuts his plans short with his friends to spend time with you or you DON'T do that and instead you just leave it be and be bored on a Friday night with no plans.
I always find myself caught in that place and on one hand I want my boyfriend to have fun but on the other I just can't seem to ever understand how no matter how hard I try I can just never seem to find the right time in the right place to get together with my friends and it really sucks.
I wish that I had friends who would text me or call me out of the blue just to catch up and trade stories on how our lives are going. Even if they can't hang out or I haven't seen them in a long while. Them calling me shows me that they still care.
Now I know some of you might be thinking that "o well the door swings both ways" and yes I know this. But I have tried doing that for a lot of my friends and I just got tired of having multiple no response texts for long periods of time and no one answering my phone calls or returning them for that matter that I gave up trying and I just figured that my true friends would com around eventually.


For any of my friends who read this remember that I love all of you, and don't want this blog to sound as mean as it does. But every once in a while would a simple hi how are you? text message or short call be too much to ask to know that you still consider me a friend. :-)

Update and Theories

Wow I haven't blogged in forever, I would have sooner but school is very time consuming.
So I was on my Facebook the other day and noticed that someone who I went to High School with sent me a message. But when I checked it, it wasn't one of those forward messages that everyone gets it was a real message directed to me. Now while I was totally faltered, I've been hurt by guys way to many times to count, to the point where I can never tell if a guy is just messing with my head or if he truly means what he says. While I desperately want to believe that guys never mess with my head, my experiences have trained me otherwise.
So my theory is, guys never tell the truth, they distort everything that they say to get what they want in the end, whether it be to sleep with a girl, or get the girl to shut up, or for the girl forgive them, which more often than not ends with make-up sex or fooling around. Do guys really have true beliefs and statements or is it all mumbo-jumbo that we claim we want to hear?

That's all for now. Back to the school work which controls my existence, at least as a student.